Bridgin’ Da Gizzap

As a child, there is a growing concern that I can’t identify with adults. Each year, the elderly and youth of America become more polarized and, because of that, begin to think that the other group is trying to ruin the grounds of entertainment. Adults see the young lifestyle through propagated rap videos of drugs and disrespecting women, while the teenagers see the “olden days” through the memories of their grandfather getting drunk on the front porch with a cigar in one hand and their ballsack in the other.

Another thing that interferes with what I call “Generation Integration” is the large language barrier. Every day new phrases sweep the youth of America, making it harder for parents translate their kid’s words without a decoder ring. While the elders cling onto phrases like “blockhead” and “nincompoop,” children are littering their conversation with words like “off the heezy” and “mad props.” This vast difference in language has troubled both generations and made it impossible for them to interact.

Aside from this problem is the dilemma of different districts adopting separate slang words. Parents find themselves understanding slang words in one area only to understand that their decoder rings don’t work in the neighboring town. It is for this reason that I am translating all the urban sayings of my region. This will hopefully assist us in bridging the gap between not only town-differences as well as the division between generations. So without further ado, here is the breakdown of the slang in Arlington.

Mad (adj.)—Multiple; a lot. To a great extent, normally to the point of discomfort.
Example: “It’s mad hot outside.”
“There are mad cops out tonight.”

Head (noun)—A person. A head is a person who is at a party or gathering. Normally
Example: “This kid is the most random head.”

Skimp (adj.)— Lacking in quantity and/or quality. Displeasing to people. A scam. Normally used by kids when they are upset about a situation. Many teenagers express dissatisfaction with the phrase “yo mad skimp”
Example: “This is a skimp bag of chips.”

Straight (adj.)—Accepted; pleasing. The opposite of skimp.
Example: “Yeah man we’re straight.”
“That’s straight.”

Tuke (adj.)—An acronym for The Ugliest Kid Ever. Used to describe a person who is not good looking.
Example: “She is the tukest girl ever.”

Sauced (adj., verb)—Adj: intoxicated, mainly with alcohol. Verb: to drink
Example: “I was so sauced last night”
Example: Me and my friend were saucin’ it up last night.

Schemin’ (verb)—Hiding something from one’s peers. Planning something behind ones back. Associated with negative attributions of not being loyal.
Example: I didn’t notice it at first but he’s clearly schemin’.

Deez (adj.)— Derived from the word diesel. Showing power and strength.
Example: That kid is so deez.
Example: That was the most deez throw in the history of football

Phelpz (noun)—Weed. Derived from this picture.

I realize that there are many slang words from different towns (for example, I realize that in a neighboring town instead of “sauced” they use “shamboozled”) and I encourage you to share your own. That way, if I ever visit you to kill you, I will know the appropriate language to blend into the crowd. And if you have any questions, please ask. I will give you the straight answer after saucin’ mad phelpz and schemin’ about tuke heads.



Filed under Comedy

2 responses to “Bridgin’ Da Gizzap

  1. Schizochu


  2. Janyce

    It’s skeet, not skimp.

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