Finally, Some Good Random Facts

I love random facts. One of my favorite things is when you and your friends end up all sitting around and sharing all the random facts that you’ve heard in your life; each fact leading to a goofy anecdote. But what I don’t like are the lame kids that always spew the same lame-ass facts that everyone knows. No one wants to be reminded of a fact they learned from their 3rd grade babysitter. Facts are supposed to be stirring and stimulating, which is why it’s retarded when kids try to impress you with these boring “revelations”:

-It’s impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.

-Proportionally, the strongest muscle in your body is your tongue.

-There are more plastic lawn flamingos in the US than real ones.

-The average human eats 8 spiders in their lifetime at night.

When you hear these facts, you’re not inspired, nor are you excited to hear another. All you can think is “wow, this person just became as smart as my 8-year-old cousin.”

I think what I love the most about “facts” is that you can really never tell which ones are made up and which ones are true. In fact (no pun intended), you could make up whatever “fact” you wanted, and no one would call you on it—provided it’s believable. For example, for the past 5 years, during every fact-exchange me and my peers have had, I’ve told everyone that all polar bears are left-handed. Are all polar bears left handed? Who knows! The best part is that nobody can call me on it because no one has seen a polar bear throw a baseball with their right hand. Even better, facts spread like wild-fire, especially the fake ones.

Before you I have put together some very interesting facts that—to my knowledge—are completely true. But there’s no real way to tell, all you can do is believe them and tell them to everyone you know.

-On average, 100 people choke to death on ball-point pens every year.

-The first non-human to win an Oscar was Mickey Mouse.

-In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere… usually in Jerry’s living room.

-More than 2,500 left-handed people are killed each year from using products that are made for right-handed people.

-Pain is measured in units of “dols”. The instrument used to measure pain is a “dolorimeter”.

-David Alan Grier, Ice Cube, Dave Chappelle and John Travolta all turned down the offer to play the role of Bubba from Forrest Gump. Chevy Chase also turned down the role of playing Forrest.

-The name Vanilla comes from the Spanish word “vainilla”, diminutive form of “vaina,” which is in turn derived from Latin word “vagina”.

-The modern bikini was invented by a French designer in 1946. It was named after Bikini Atoll, the site of US nuclear weapon tests a few days earlier in the Marshall Islands, on the reasoning that the burst of excitement it would cause would be like the nuclear device.

-‘Fjord’ is the only word in the English language to start with the letters ‘fj’. A fjord is a long, narrow arm of the sea bordered by steep cliffs.

-Bruce Lee was so fast that they actually had to slow the film down so you could see his moves

I would love to share more with you people, but I have to go play catch with a polar bear. Does anyone have a lefty glove?

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7 Comments

Filed under Comedy, Joke, Movies, Something

7 responses to “Finally, Some Good Random Facts

  1. boh

    that one about pain is probably true cos pain/to hurt in spanish is doler or something.

    Here are some interesting (probably true) facts:

    -If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

    -The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building.

    -Marilyn Monroe had six toes on one foot.

    -The Spanish word esposa means “wife.” The plural, esposas, means “wives,” but also “handcuffs.”

    -Romanian firefighters could not get their trucks close enough to a burning building, so they put out the fire by throwing snowballs at it.

    -101 Dalmatians and Peter Pan (Wendy) are the only two Disney cartoon features with both parents that are present and don’t die throughout the movie.

    -According to a British law passed in 1845, attempting to commit suicide was a capital offense. Offenders could be hanged for trying.

    -All of the clocks in the movie “Pulp Fiction” are stuck on 4:20

    -Aztec emperor Montezuma had a nephew, Cuitlahac, whose name meant “plenty of excrement.”

    -David Prowse was the guy in the Darth Vader suit in Star Wars. He spoke all of Vader’s lines, and didn’t know that he was going to be dubbed over by James Earl Jones until he saw the screening of the movie.

    -Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn’t wear pants

    -On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament Building is an American flag

  2. SADDAM

    NO
    ONE
    CARES
    ABOUT
    BOH

  3. Katy

    uh …..
    in ‘Mulan’ you see the mom and dad, and neither die. okayyyyy??????
    ha GOTCHA.

  4. Wow.. Nice post.. Thanks for the nice info

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  6. Bree

    “I would love to share more with you people, but I have to go play catch with a polar bear. Does anyone have a lefty glove?” Brilliant 😉

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