I am sick and tired of numbers. I have sat through 10 years of algebra class enough to know that numbers are important but I have sat through 15 years of television. According to math, I have learned 1.5 times more from television than I have from school. And what I’ve learned from television is that numbers are only necessary in class, not in movies. Every time there is a TV show, movie, documentary, or conspiracy concerning numbers, it automatically sucks.
NOTE: If you just thought that what I said up there was confusing, I suggest you stop reading now because it’s going to get much harder to keep up.
For example: The 9/11 conspiracy. Here, a bunch of college students who hated the government refused to believe the undeniable truth that people might actually kinda maybe really hate America, and decided to blame the death of thousands on the government. Some of there arguments are as follows:
Think about it. September eleventh . . . 9/11 . . . 9-1-1 . . . the emergency number. Also, 9+11=20. If you fold the twenty dollar bill, you can see the towers burning! There were also four planes, remembering the one that crashed in Pennsylvania. Each plane carried five terrorists, and if you multiply four [planes] and five [terrorists] you get 20! Also, if you rearrange the letters in “He Grew Bogus,” which is what Deputy Defense Secretary Gordon England said in his interview about Osama Bin Laden, you get George W. Bush. Finally, if you assign a number to every letter in the alphabet (A=1, B=2, C=3, etc.) and use George W. Bush in the ADD ADD SUBTRACT form—which is used to decode many terrorist communications–you get:
I think this is evidence enough to prove that our own president is in charge of the death of thousands
Another great example is the Tupac-Death-Faking-Conspiracy, which is actually worse than the 9/11 one (I kind of see what the 9/11 losers were looking for. They claimed that the entire thing was an excuse to start the war in Iraq. The Tupac theory is just because gangsters refused to admit that this guy died). This is an actual article someone wrote on a list of 20 Reasons Why 2Pac Is Alive:
NOTE: If you read this and start to actually think that Tupac is still alive, kill yourself.
There are many numerological coincidences. Tupac was gunned down exactly seven months after All Eyez On Me was released. The number seven keeps coming up too. He was shot on September 7th and survived on 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th, 11th, 12th, and died the 13th. This could explain the title of his new album…. “The Don Killuminati: The 7 day theory.” 2pac was 25. His age adds up to 7 (2 + 5). Even his time of death, 4:03, adds up to 7 (4 + 0 + 3). Also, on track five on the Makaveli album the voice at the begining says “And if the Lord returns in the coming seven days, then we’ll see ya next time.” He even talks about the number 7 on his album! There are more ‘coincidences’ too.. The newest is on his brand new double album entitled “R U Still Down?”. This album was released on November 25th. 2 + 5 = 7. The 7 day theory continues! What’s with this????
Lastly—and the thing that triggered my reign of anger—is the movie 23. This movie is supposedly (and correct me if I’m wrong) about a man, Jim Carrey, who becomes obsessed with a book titled 23 that appears to be based on his life but ends with a murder that has yet to happen in real life. Becoming paranoid, the man, named Walter, starts linking everything about himself to the number 23 (his social security number, his birthday, the population of Wyoming, etc.) I’m not sure what happens at the end of the movie, and even if I did I wouldn’t tell you because I’m not one of those bastards that gives away movies.
Just to prove how stupid this number thing is, I have decided to make one of my own. Watch:
My name is Alex Boonstra. If I assign a number to every letter of the alphabet (A=1, B=2, C=3, etc.) I get the numbers 1, 12,5,24, 2, 15,15,14,19, 20, 18, and 1. Now watch what I do.
Now that I’m working with 125 (which is a very simple number) I look for other things that lead to that number. For example
The Washington Monument is 555 feet tall, 5×5×5=125.
I then go online to see who was born and who died on certain dates
Alisha Keys’ birthday is January 25th . . . 1/25 . . 125
Shoeless Joe Jackson died December 5th . . . 12/5 . . . 125
Shoeless Joe died in 1951, 19+5+1=25 Shoeless Joe has three syllables. 25×3=125
So, according to the conspiracy, I should be the President, Shoeless Joe Jackson should be my Vice President, and Alisha Keyes should be my Monica Lewinsky.
If I see another damn math conspiracy I’m going to shoot someone in the head; and it might be Tupac.