Once every four-hundred-thousand years, a legend is born. An icon of power; a voice for all that is right. This man stands up for what he believes in, and he is the epitome of greatness. I am not this man. I write comedy. Bad comedy. But if, for some odd reason, you think that I am remotely funny, feel free to laugh. Just remember that for everytime you don't laugh, I will slaughter an innocent orphan. Also, if you ever put any of my writing into your Myspace, Facebook, AIM Profile, or Job Application without telling me first, I will burn down your house and steal your cat. And if you have a problem with my writing and think that I should be spending my time doing other things that will benefit me greater in life, then you're probably my parents.