Myspace vs. Facebook The Saga Continues
I have good news, and I have bad news. The good news is that I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Gieco; and that bad news is that I have genital warts. No, but seriously, the good news is that– although people still use it– the amount of news about Myspace.com has decreased drastically. There have been no recent reportings of girls gone missing, or kids getting killed, and no arguments about “not being on Katie’s top 8.” The only recent problem with Myspace is that police continuously report that a white/black man with a high pitched voice and gloves keeps inviting kids to play in the amusement park in his backyard, but I think we all know who that is.
The bad news is that one of my friends has joined the dark side. It was me and her, fighting Myspace together; little did I know that she was living a double life, and that after our deep discussions about how Myspace sucks, she would actually sign onto her own Myspace account! I have already made it known in a past blog that I despise Myspace more than a fat person hates Jenny Craig, but I don’t believe I shared with you people the actual activities that people enjoy on Myspace. You can:
• Log in
• Check your comments
• Log out
• Log in seconds later
• Check your comments
• Log out
• Shoot heroin
My friend claims that the reason she joined Myspace was because her friend made her one, so she decided to try it. Sadly, this is the same response most drug addicts use when they are asked why they first started smoking crack. Let this be a lesson to all you youngins that having friends is wrong, and that if you ever have any friends ever, they will ruin your life.
Fun Fact: More that 65% of all Myspaces were made by a friend
Another Fun Fact: Most that 65% of all American deaths are due to the above fact.
Q: But seriously, what is there to do on Myspace?
A: That’s simple! The average person enjoys hours of looking at people’s pictures, commenting on them, and then nagging their friends about why they didn’t comment back. And for an extra thrill, they bitch about why they’re not on people’s Top 8.
Q: What’s a “Top 8”?
A: A banner of 8 of your friend’s Myspaces designed to ruin relationships
-Why am I only number 3 on your top 8?
-Because you’re a bitch!
Q: Are there any games or activities on Myspace? What do people do for fun?
A: Are you kidding me?! What’s more fun that finding out that one of your friend’s friend’s friend’s friend’s friend’s friends named Brendan Shires’ favorite ice cream is vanilla, and that he was wearing black jeans and sandals while working on his Myspace profile!!!
Q: So there’s nothing fun about it?
A: Exactly
Q: Well then why does everyone come to Myspace, aren’t there more than like, 150 million users?
A: Myspace– like the Backstreet Boys CD– emits waves of nicotine into the system of the user, forcing him/her to become deathly addicted. When cut off from their supply, most Myspace addicts resort to cannibalism and DDR.
Q: Why don’t people do something about it?
A: Oh they have made many rules and restrictions on the site. For example, Myspace has sided with the cigarette company and is beginning to put labels on their site informing users what will happen if they use Myspace. This is also a perfect transition into my connecting sentence that will help lead into my segue for the next topic. But before I do, I would like to share another true quote from my friend on what she thought of Myspace:
It got really bad because when people stopped nagging me about getting a Myspace, they started nagging me on “why the hell don’t you ever comment on m y pictures?” or “why am I not on your top 8?”
I hope you non-Myspace users remember those words before you allow your friends to make you one. And for all you who are sick of comments, sick of pedophiles, and sick of that annoying music that plays the second you open up the webpage so loud that (God forbid) you open more than one Myspace at a time your computer sounds like an orchestra warming up; then there’s something different for you!
Facebook.com! Now you can enjoy all the luxuries of communicating with your friends and gossiping about pointless information without the hassle of leaving your room! Plus, stockers and pedophiles can now see more pictures of you partying, as well as pictures of your friends partying! It’s all the fun of Myspace without the hassle of music!
Sadly, all the users of Facebook do not know this, which is why if you ask them– which I have– why Facebook is better, they will simply respond (in a snobby, malevolent tone of voice, as if Facebook is the best thing ever invented and anyone who doesn’t use it deserves to be turned into road kill and be forced to consume scabs their entire life)-
Because it’s not Myspace . . . duh!
Unfortunately, I am not as educated in the Facebook subject as I am in the Myspace subject, and this is simply because there really aren’t any huge newspaper articles regarding the bad characteristics on this website (at least nothing that hasn’t been said about Myspace). Although, I do remember seeing on headline that read:
IT’S NOT MYSPACE
Duh
The only real problem that occurred with Facebook was then some underaged kids posted pictures of themselves drinking alcohol in their picture album and authorities found it. When asked about the situation, one of the kids said
I’m just glad they didn’t look at my other friend’s album
Q: So what is there to do on Facebook?
A: The possibilities are endless! You can look at your friend’s pictures, look at your friend’s friend’s pictures, you can comment on your friends pictures, and—if you’re feeling lucky enough—comment on your friend’s friend’s pictures.
Q: Isn’t that the same thing as Myspace?
A: NO! DIDN’T YOU READ THE FACEBOOK SLOGAN?! WE’RE NOT MYSPACE! DUH!
Also, on Facebook you constantly get reminders about whose birthday it is. This enables you to give them a comment like “happy birthday” without having to bother wasting space in your brain. The empty space that once would have been designated to remembering birthdays can be put towards more important memory information, like, for example, how many of your grandparents are still alive.
Q: What if I don’t have a Facebook? Who will remember my birthday?
A: Your parents. If you’re lucky
Back in the day, stocking someone would actually mean something. You would be forced to put aside all your other responsibilities and dedications, and spent countless hours staking out, researching, and fishing though that person’s garbage to find out what type of shampoo they used. You would be forced to befriend her bitch-ass friends in order to get vital information, and even have to pick out the glass from your leg after accidentally smashing your foot through her window when you had to get out of her room fast because she came back from soccer camp early (which is why I not walk with a limp). Nowadays, with new technology like Myspace and Facebook, stocking a girl is made thousands of times easier! Simply type in the girl’s name, and you are given a list of things she likes, things she dislikes, what her favorite types of food, candy, restaurants, desserts, pets, and virus activated illnesses are. Whether you like this or you don’t, Myspace is truly ruining the youth of America.
As my good friend Johnny Cash once put it:
If a dog were to shit out a URL, eat it and throw it back up, you would get Myspace.com
Well said Johnny Cash, well said.
hahaha niceee! I think I’m actually gonna delete it now…but I have to check my picture comments first.lol.
I love you and I love MySpace…Is that wrong?
Stalking is spelled — S-T-A-L-K-I-N-G
Not stocking - which are things women wear on thier legs…or what stock guys do in super markets.
I am a horrible speller too… Write blogs first in word, then publish!!!
Cheers!
If you spelt “stocking” on Word, it wouldn’t correct it anyway. That is actually what I do now, I guess I missed that one.
I was actually talking about stocking girls. It’s an ancient Dutch tradition in which we hide up in the trees until girls sit below us. Then we jump down, put a stocking over their head and yell in their ear. It makes them very uncomfortable and is a bundle of fun. TRY IT!
Cheers!
I totally agree with you!! about the whole facebook/myspace thing… it’s a total waste of time, and ya, it does make it so much easier for people to stalk you! How come that’s the cool thing to do now? Post info about yourself.. so that total strangers can “look you up” and like, look into your personal life.. it’s so intrusive! And it’s true - it can be done from the comfort of your own bedroom.. how sad! All I have to say .. is that, anyone who uses facebook/myspace should seriously.. re-think their decisions to sign up with those sites, and delete their profiles, because trust me, one day, something will happen and you will be like.. man, why did I ever even put myself on that? If people want to know what’s going on in your life, they should have the decency to ask you - in person, or through email, or by phoning you.
and even if you set it to private it doesn’t matter because it’s not that hard to hack into somebodys profile. and i dont really bother with that stuff because i am really busy, and i dont have the time. and i think it’s kind of pointless, i mean, i know you can express yourself, but you can use your aim profile fo that. i mean, i have a myspace, but i dont use it. i only use it so i can check out my friends profiles. like, there’s nothing on it. and picture comments are stupid, cuz half the time people make so many misspellings you can
t even read what they’re saying at all. it’s like “yo wuz^ my homedawg, we rly hafta chill sumtyme, yoyo, peace out” and it’s kinda dumb. if you have something IMPZORtTANT to say to someone, then you can call or im them..
& the whol stalking thing. i mean some people are so stupid, it’s not even funy. some kids at my school put
1)their phone number
2) their sn
3) their email
4) the name of their school
i mean HELLO. they might as well put their friggin address on the thing! and they dont even set it to privcate. that means some old, bald hairy 40 year old fat guy who has a fetish for little kids could be looking at some (stupid) 13 year olds myspace and immediately know
all his info. and some kids even put their HOUSE phone number, which is like, beggin for somebody to sneak intot their house and molest them, because if you type a phone number into google you can get someones full name and address, so..yeah some people are stupid
Here’s something everyone’s going to have to realize sooner or later. With every new technological advance, there will be unimaginable increases in both the world of stalking and misused time.
Face it, Facebook and My Space are novelties. Like every new video game, society will take advantage of every life-sucking creation until we are left, shriveled and haggard.
Complaining won’t change a thing, because as we speak, some ever-virginal geek is in his bedroom, watching Napoleon Dynamite, envisioning the next computerized magnum opus.
Times are changing. Nothing’s safe and nothing’s sacred.
The most humorous part: You’re all using this addictive, unsafe, and fairly recent technology to voice your complaints. These comments and every blog to which you contribute, will remain forever. It’s like a tattoo, no matter how embarassed you are that you did it, it’s not going away.
Cheers!
. . . What?
Haha. I never noticed your comment. Now that’s no fun! Is that all you got Boony? Come on! Bring it!
i deleted my myspace =]
but facebook really is actually alot easier, because it has more security stuff so you can;’t make more than one. and it has less creepy stalker people and stuff=]
its also more organized, you can add photos to other people, you can organize groups with a little less hassle, and since it is open to less people it is a little safer.
yeah, so just so you know the diff. between myspace&facebook.
facebook has games and applications to use that myspace doesn’t have.
it also uploads much faster
less viruses
less of those super-annoying ” layouts”
and everytime you make a picture comment or something, it doesn’t reload the page, and also, on myspace to make a comment , it asks you 4 times if you are absolutely completely positively compelled to make that comment.
which is annoying.
plus, since everybody uses their real name, it is much easier to find people,
its also easier to add photos, and make albums
& there are more groups which are very entertaining..