Schoolgirls Gone Wild

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Unlike other people, I have less of a life during the weekends than I do during the school week.  This is because I have a total of 2.46 friends, one of which is SmarterChild.  During the school day, I am given 6 hours to talk to people, whereas during the weekend I sleep all day, wake up, and then sit in front of my computer/television for 14 hours.

One thing you actually get to experience to the fullest while in front of your computer is how crazy girls are.  Now, I’m only 14 years old, and I’m sure most people know alot more about girls than I do, but I know the main bulletpoint of girl facts:

• Girls are always right, and you will always be wrong

You could argue with a girl that the sky is blue, and by the end of the arguement (in 4-8 minutes) you would be completely convinced that the sky is maroon.

But I did not learn this through sitting around in front of my computer.  I was forced to argue with girls for years, and my record is 0-185-1.  The tie is when I disagreed with an 84 year old woman, and she died midarguement.  So at the age of 14, I have officially given in to what girls want, and I have already accepted that no matter how hard i try, I will never win anything with a girl.

It is really alot easier when you’ve accepted loosing at an early age.  You can simply sit around the house and observe the problems with these girls.

For example, I have found another thing wrong with girls (or as I call them, Crazy Bitches)

If you are ever talking to a girl online, and you look at her profile, 89% of the time you will find a quote like this:

“&& as she lay there crying in the mud, it occured to her that he wasn’t about to pick her up.”

These are the girls you go to school with.  The girls you talk to at lunch everyday, and hte girls you hook up with now and then.  You personally know for a fact that the girl you are talking to has never:

• layed in the mud
• cried in the mud
• had a guy that would make her cry in the mud
• depended on a guy to pick her up when she is laying in the mud

And girls love these things!  They constantly rotate them in and out of their basic profiles.

“&& when all her friends left her, and her parents kicked her out, she knew that she only needed one person.  Herself . . .”

Once again:

• Never had all her friends leave her
• Never had her parents kick her out
• Never actually thought for one second that her self-concious little self could survive on her own.

I don’t know if anyone else ever noticed this, but how come all these “inpirational sayings” in girls profiles start with “&&”?  It’s as if they were taken from the ending sentence of a very very sad book, or a quote from a depressing movie (like King Kong).

And it’s only girls that are all dramatic like this.  You’ll never see in a guys profile:

&& after he got the crap tackled out of him, & he was laying there at the bottom of the football player pile, he realized that he only needed to reach within himself.

Nope, you’ll never see that.

So if you ever see one of these girls in school, and they aren’t stained with tears and mud crying, you must immediately shove shampoo in their eyes.

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